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Hua Hin
Tuesday, March 19, 2024

An Ox of a man

And it has nothing to do with his size

Harauld Sextus, as his passport states, is one of the nicest, most erudite and self-aware men I have ever had the pleasure of chatting with.  So, who the heck is Harauld when he is at home?  Harauld is the alter-ego of the owner and chef of The Banana Ketchup, a Caribbean restaurant located off Pala-U Road, just before you head “up the hill”.

I hadn’t visited The Banana Ketchup previously, but now having tasted the chef’s specially prepared trio of dips and breads, I will be sure to go back.  Most readers will by now have realised that the subject of this article is the delightful Ox.  I asked how Harauld turned into Ox, and found out that in his early to mid-teens, Ox had been at the forefront of the social movement of graffiti art in his native Guadeloupe in the Caribbean.  Indeed, he and his works feature in a book recording the start of this particular art style in the Caribbean.  Harauld’s graffiti tag, the signature each artist leaves on their sprayed artwork, was Oxyde, and the Ox has stuck ever since.

The thing I appreciate most about Ox is that he is a true “people-person” although he claims to be a functioning introvert. He values treating all people with respect and consideration and has always tried to evaluate any situation from the perspective of the other. He told me his greatest fear is that he may not always treat the people he loves with sufficient attention.

Another thing to love about Ox is the way his eyes light up when he talks about his real role-models, his mother and his 93-year-old grandmother who is still fiercely guarding her independence and place as the family’s matriarch.  Ox also expressed a deep love and affection for his departed Dad as well and strongly agreed with me about the issues being caused for today’s youth, when social media over-exposure leads them to abandon their families, who should be their true role-models, for the latest pop star or social media influencer. Ox is aware of the perils of social media overuse, calling it a great eater of time, however it is an essential tool for those in the food and beverage industry, so has to be used sparingly but effectively to promote his restaurant, though he shies from sharing much of his personal life on a regular basis.

Ox’s favourite childhood memory is of a day at the beach with his extended family, fishing, cooking and eating, cut short by a storm, and being soaking wet but laughing raucously in the back of a large pickup truck when the wind blew away the cover that was sheltering them all. To this day, Ox loves the rain almost as much as he enjoys the sea. A huge smile also came to his face when he finally searched out the best compliment he ever received.  It was a person who was so impressed with the food Ox served him that he broke into a spontaneous “happy dance”.

Like so many expat inhabitants of Hua Hin, Ox was drawn to the town by its geographic location between the sea and the mountains. Having been born and raised in Guadeloupe, on an island where nowhere is far from the coast, the sea is in his blood and he needs to reside in the place where he has ready, unfettered access to the water. He doesn’t always need to enter the water, taking in the vista from the sand can sometimes be enough to fill his soul with happiness. Or a good hug, that works well too.

From the age of about 7, young Harauld expressed the desire to be an artist when he grew up, and was again strongly reaffirming that desire from the age of 14 when he found “his tribe” amongst the burgeoning community of graffiti artists and decided that joining the family business was not for him. At school, Ox remembers being a bit of a flibbertigibbet, a joker and an attention-seeker who did only exactly as much as he needed to ensure passing grades. 

At the tender age of 17, Ox left behind his family and their bakery business, and took off to see the world, a voyage of not only travel but also self-discovery that saw him living in Aix-en-Provence in the south of France, for 6 years working and also attending an art school that focused on technology and the avant-garde.  Ox views himself as confident, open-minded and a bit of a go-getter, and his move to France as a young man is certainly confirmation of this self-assessment and his contemplative nature.

To this day, the pursuit of artistic creation remains at the front of Ox’s endeavours. With his cookery, Ox turns the simplest of available, seasonal produce, (or whatever you have in the fridge and pantry), into tasty, nutritious, healthy dishes through his understanding of flavour profiles but also experimentation and artistry. Ox also pursues creativity through his other passion, photography.  Ox has a smart phone and uses it when nothing else is immediately at hand, but has a special love for his camera.  It would be the single material possession he would dash to rescue from a fire, it is his pride and joy, and it is not even digital, but an analogue camera for which he must still purchase celluloid film.  

I learnt one saucy snippet about Ox from our chat today.  His preference and skill lies in “candid” portraiture photography.  What does that mean?  Well, you are likely to get the best shot from your sitting if you are prepared to ditch your clothes and pose for him nude, a situation which takes a great degree of familiarity and the development of a relationship of trust to eventuate.

Ox confided that his greatest achievement to date is that he has always managed to follow his own heart and dreams.  To me, he comes across as quite a driven person.  He believes that he still has everything to learn, because stopping learning is to die.  Ox drew a very apt analogy for me. He wants to become a Swiss Army Knife, because he would like to be his own tool bag, competent to handle any situation, having the ability to survive and thrive no matter what life and fate may throw at him.  He acknowledges that no-one can stop s##t happening to them at some point. 

Ox believes his strength derives from his adaptability, calling himself “just like a cockroach”.  His weakness is that he is always trusting of others, though hopefully not to the point of gullibility. Ox is his own best friend, and on a fine day off, prefers to chill in solitude, ingesting anything that piques his fancy.  Hence my use of the term erudite. Ox still wants to work on learning even more languages, becoming more adept at analysing people, and his math skills.  He knows what he has to do to improve his maths, but claims he is just too lazy to do it. Given the chance to offer advice to his teenage self, it would be a simple, “Get even crazier, dare more, without fear.”

Ox nourishes his body, as well as his soul, with frequent training sessions of his preferred martial art, BJJ, Brazilian Ju-Jitsu, in which he holds a purple belt.  His aim is to achieve a black belt, just 2 levels up, prior to turning 50, and were I a betting person, I wouldn’t dare wager against him achieving this goal.

Returning to the topic of food, Ox’s guilty pleasure is bread, in all its myriad forms, though with a special fondness for sourdough or brioche, a hangover no doubt from his lengthy sojourn in France. If he could choose his final meal, it would certainly be composed of several dishes, including a simple open sandwich and perhaps even a vegetarian Croque Monsieur.  But he could swap that for anything authentically Chinese, no doubt at the influence of his Chinese wife, Elke.

Did you read that last part carefully? Most people in Hua Hin would be unaware that for the vast majority of his life, Ox has been a diligent vegetarian.  He cooks and serves meat dishes, yet doesn’t partake himself. He did eat meet from the ages of 8 to 23, but has chosen not to ever since.  I guess he extends his respect of people to other living creatures as well.

Ox certainly seems to be a man content with his lot in life.  That doesn’t mean that he has everything he would like though.  He says his wife would like him to earn a bit more money, just to ensure greater stability, a rather sensible aim given the vagaries caused by the pandemic.  If he had an unexpected windfall, Ox would buy property, but not for investment.  He would purchase homes in the four places he loves best: Paris, Hong Kong, Shanghai and Guadeloupe.  And then he would help out family and friends, particularly ensuring a good education for the children.

Ox’s final attribute I feel compelled to share with you is that he is a self-confessed neat freak.  I have never met a male one of those before, but wouldn’t at all mind one in a domestic setting. 

Ox is the archetypal optimist. He is not blind to problems in the present; the traffic, the air pollution, the unkindness some people constantly show, but he is also a firm believer in worldwide progress in more fields that I have space to mention.  He harbours no regrets, “Life is too short, it’s never too late.”

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